A Blog by Mark Atteberry

This is a topic I’ve spoken about, blogged about and have been questioned about many, many times in the past. It is a recurring theme in my life for a reason… it is probably one of the most important questions you will ever ask yourself, especially if you want to be an artist.

Have you ever thought about what matters most to you? I’m not asking you how much do you really want to act, I’m asking you if you’ve spent much time asking yourself what really matters in life? Do you know? Can you say in a single concise statement what your purpose in life is? Do you even have a “Life Purpose?” Does it even matter?

During my 6-week Type and Image Intensive I give a homework assignment I call the “What Matters Most Exercise.” The point of it is to get each student to start thinking about their purpose in life, both as a human as well as an actor. We explore questions like: What are you most passionate about? What is the most important thing in life? What drives you to be an artist? What do you love most in life? What do you hate most in life? Most of the time, in response to my questions, I get either a blank stare or a pat, cliché answer like “to make the world a better place through my art.” It sounds noble (kind of like the “world peace” answer you hear at beauty pageants) but is it honest, personal and well thought out? Probably not. The truth is, most people rarely think about these things. And, that’s just kind of sad, in my opinion. Artists, especially, should know these things. They are, after all, given the divine job of bringing passion to the world. But, how can they do that if they don’t know what they are passionate about themselves?

So, I ask you… what do you care about most in life? Winning an Oscar? Fame and fortune? Family? Serving God? Revenge on an Ex? What about saving the whales? As far as I’m concerned this is the one thing you should continue to ask yourself for the rest of your life. Why would you not want to focus on what is most important in life? But, for the sake of the exercise it really doesn’t matter what your answer is as long as it’s something! Why? I’m glad you asked.

I challenge actors with these questions for three basic reasons: 1) Great writers write about characters who are driven and deeply passionate about something (their objective). And, there is always something else that is preventing them from getting it (their obstacle). Eventually they either get the object of their desire or they don’t (and instead get something better). It is that passionate quest that keeps us entertained and thrilled by the story. In order to adequately play a character who is deeply passionate, you need to be deeply passionate yourself. 2) To advance at all in life you must set goals and determine to achieve them by some sort of systematic method. Without goals you have nothing specific to work on, thus nothing to really achieve. In the words of Yogi Berra, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up someplace else.” You cannot determine what to do next if you don’t know what matters to you most. You can’t set priorities or give tasks levels of importance. If you haven’t, read “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” you really must. Stephen Covey does a marvelous job explaining this concept. 3) Your passions in life largely define who you are and how we, as audience members to your life story, perceive you. Your passions are just as much a part of you as your personality, your physical type, your image or your age category.

Simply put, you have to have a “life purpose” in order to accomplish great things in life. You must have something you are passionate about and driven to get, otherwise your life lacks purpose. On the flip side, if you have a whole list of desires that you are equally passionate about but none that tops the list, then your life lacks focus. Ask yourself, who is your hero? Why are they your hero? Did they get to where they are without passion, without focus, without purpose? As Martin Luther King so eloquently put it, “”If you don’t have a cause to die for, you don’t have a cause to live for.”

My 6-week Type Intensive is designed to give actors a “descriptive snapshot” of who they are, how people in the industry see them, what makes them unique and what they alone have to offer as an actor. Having a purpose, a set of priorities and a deep focused passion is a huge part of that picture. It helps me to “define” them. Think about it, Angelina Jolie is passionate about helping underprivileged kids, Jenny McCarthy is passionate about finding a cure for Autism, Al Pacino is passionate about Shakespeare and the art of acting. Those things define who those actors are. And because they are so passionate, they can play characters who are equally as passionate.

My question is not a general question at all. It is specific. What matters most to you? Don’t allow your answer be general. Admittedly, this question gets easier as you get older. When we are young we want to “do it all,” but as you get older your desires get simpler and more specific based on who you have become. And not to worry, you won’t be stuck with the answer you choose now for the rest of your life. My answer to this question has changed many times over throughout the years. All I care about is that you think deeply about it and take your time answering. Hopefully it will inspire you to embrace a process of self-exploration that will last a lifetime and define and refine you more and more with each passing year.

As you ponder this topic, ask yourself these questions for inspiration: What drives you? What brings you joy? What makes you angry? What inspires you? Who’s your hero? What do you want the message of your life to be? In your art? Ask yourself why you feel the way you do. Most people don’t ask themselves why they are passionate about certain things. Play with questions like these until you you have a strong idea of what you are most passionate about in life and art. Either way, it will greatly benefit you to know what matters to you most and see how it affects your life’s focus?

One last story as an example of what I’m talking about: I have been working with a private client (I’ll call her Suzy) for the past four years. Suzy would never answer me when I asked, “what matters most to you?” She always gave me the same answer, “I have several ‘passions’ and all are equally important.” Suzy wanted to be a musician, a song writer, an actress, a novelist and she wanted to start a new line of organic skin care. Suzy had been dabbling in all those areas as long as I had known her. Over and over I asked her to pick one as her favorite and over and over she refused. For her to narrow it down to one meant the others weren’t important, or worse, that she would have to say goodbye to some. As a result, she had no success with any of her desires.

Finally, after lots of probing and some deep soul searching, it became obvious that what Suzy cared most about was not necessarily her career but to make her mother proud and to give her something to be happy about. Suzy’s dream was to win a big award (an Oscar, a Pulitzer, a Grammy, etc.), stand on the podium and say “This is for you Mom! I love you!” Her mother was a lonely, depressed woman who was abandoned by her mother early on. As a result Suzy’s mom felt “unlovable.” Suzy’s primary desire in life was to prove to her mom that she was lovable.

So, I assigned Suzy a writing assignment. I told her to write a love letter to her mom at least once a week and to put it on a blog. I told her it could be in the form of a letter, a monologue, song lyrics, or even a praise for her beautiful skin. Little did she know, I was focusing Suzy in on her true passion (giving her mother love and worth) by picking a preferred method of delivery (writing). For the first time since I’ve known her, Suzy is gaining ground in her life. A successful writer was invited to read Suzy’s blog and fell in love with it. She even offered to help Suzy get a publishing deal. For the first time Suzy feels like she has “direction” in her life. And the more she writes, the more she loves it. Suzy is still as passionate about her other desires but now she has a plan to attain those as well. One success is leading to another but it all started because she finally embraced her true passion, helping her mother to feel loved and noticed, through writing.

This is what happens when you get specific! Just pick a passion, embrace it FULLY and then focus, focus, focus. Try it. Watch what happens. Ask yourself, “What matters most to me and why?”

If you care to look more deeply into this way of thinking, check out this New York Times article on Oprah. She stayed focused on her passion and look what happened to her. I also highly encourage you to check out Simon Sinek’s famous TED talk, How Great Leaders Inspire Action.

– Mark Atteberry